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[18 Oct 2009|09:22pm] |
i landed a fantastic job as a pastry sous chef at a restaurant that is more than i could ask for. the apartment we live in is so fantastic and the price is more than a steal. i could throw a rock into lake michigan from where we live and i have all my meow meows. i make decent money and can only grow more from my mentor.
everything is amazing.
just...
lee isn't happy. if lee isn't happy i'm not happy. the sushi scene in chicago sucks. he's getting depressed cause he's not learning or growing. a complete downgrade from his beano's cabin to satos.
it kills me to have everything i've wanted and then look at him when he is just trying to stick it out for the best.
i never thought this would happen. i never imagined i would meet the only other asian person in the valley on a bus asking me what i was listening to. i never thought we would start dating. i never though he would move out with me. i never thought i would want to introduce him to my parents. i feel like i owe it to him to make this the best experience ever.
things have to get better. he deserves better.
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[24 Sep 2009|09:05pm] |
we're moving out next week. got our apartment in the northern lincoln park area of chicago=safer than the last apartment. on top i will be living with lee and the cats. nobody's gonna wanna mess with big guns (muscles) and sharp kitty claws.
i can't believe it's almost time to get on out. we're making our cross country move via canary (lee's yellow audi). And since we both listen to different music we decided to get audio books. we already got it. i plan on listening to clockwork orange through nebraska and hemingway through iowa/detroit>chicago.
lee is all set out for a job with his amazing 7 years of atleast 4 star restaurant cooking and i...i have 1. but i had a interview today and the chef wants me to come out and look at the kitchen while we have a 2nd interview. if worst comes to worst i still have my internship and i can walk doggies all day.
it's gonna be a real change of scene. i never thought i would say this but i've almost become comfortable in the mountains. i don't know exactly why we're moving to chicago. i just know its where i felt liberated in the past. all i know is that i'm gonna be happy to start a new life with lee. i'm just happy everything fell into place.
next on the list is portland or reykjavik.
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[01 Sep 2009|02:52pm] |
it was a normal day.
nothing out of the ordinary.
i go into work.
do some cleaning tasks and whatnots.
everything i would do this day was something i would do any other day.
few hours in.
my hands broke out in hives.
there's a lump in my throat.
i take some claritin and things start to clear up a bit.
send colleen home.
continue to work.
it's getting harder to catch my breath.
i feel out of shape.
i call my boss and drive myself to lee's house.
i pick up all my money and ask his roommate to drive me to the local clinic.
this point it's incredibly hard to breathe. i'm so tired.
the clinics are closed.
teddy brings me home and i take a benedryl hoping i can wait it out till the clinic opens.
it's so hard to breathe. all i wanted to do at this point is take a nap.
ed rushes me to er.
i just remember the iv and seeing the shadows dance in front of me.
i was exposed to something at work and went into anaphylaxis shock. my throat closed up on me.
i have to carry an epi pen with me and i am now in debt over two grand. my boss won't even let me file an incident report/receive workman's comp.
great.
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[09 Apr 2009|08:48pm] |
nothing will ever replace it.
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| livin' lucky |
[05 Apr 2009|02:54pm] |
well we swam across the ocean, and we took off to the moon. now we're standing out here on the corner again i'll be on my way soon.
we laugh all through the night and we'll be singing out loud till another day comes by.
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[23 Mar 2009|03:45pm] |
i went biking for the first time in 15 years=my vagina still hurts
i miss my cats and friends. i love it out here but i can't wait to go to detroit in may.
i talked to michael (he's the co owner of the place i intern at, and also owns pastry design and chocolatier magazine) and we talked about greenwich village and how he moved there in the 80's. he's neighbors with david bowie. i hope he can find me a job out in ny.
i don't like my boyfriend when he's drunk. he acts like he's 8.
i feel disconnected from my roommates cause i'm never home anymore.
i made apple baklava for the first time yesterday and it was ahmazing.
dolce and gabbana's the one perfume smells incredible.
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[17 Feb 2009|02:46pm] |
fighting the good fight.
you and me just trying to get it right.
who are we to breakdown?
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[19 Jan 2009|08:46pm] |
a. you taught me that love can be long and short term.
j. you were beautiful. i just remember you as beautiful.
d. i think i liked you cause you were mean to everyone but me.
e. you were some piece of talent.
c. you were always my biggest fan. i loved that. i loved that you liked everything i did or was.
je.i'll never forgive you.
m. its just not fair. you were there for all the big moments.
f. i hope one day we'll meet and things will be perfect like a song.
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[17 Jan 2009|10:37pm] |
1.14. go to vail and get wine and fondue on top of the mountain. lost a filling.
1.15. birthday-first time i was ever single on my birthday in ages.
1.16. wine and cheese night=bougiouse night with my housemate. intense pain in my mouth=ignored with codean
1.17. 5am. wake up with slight pain.
7am. take one tylenol codean3
8am. fever
9am. nasuea
10am. light headed
11am. finished spinning all the gelatos left arm is slightly tingly
11:30am. boss lady drove me home and found me a dentist.
11:45am. talk to my dentist over the phone (can't see him till monday)
11:48am. found out that my lost filling has lead to a infection that has traveled to my left arm which at this point was numb.
12:30pm. executive chef's husband picked up my penicillin and hydrocodean. (which by the way is only $20 uninsured in colorado!)
2pm. throw up
2:15pm. throw up
2:45pm. throw up
3pm. nap
4:40pm. eat a bit
4:45pm. throw up
5pm. throw up
7pm. eat a bit more
7:30 talk to edward and hang up on him so i could throw up
it is currently 10:47pm and i feel alot better. good enough to work. i feel like i do any other day. i want to try to go to work in the morning. wish me luck mockingbird.
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| can't control this airplane |
[11 Jan 2009|08:41pm] |
vail is amazing. just to see the tiny peaks left aknowledging that you're living on top of a mountain. i feel incredible.
i'm still getting use to the thought that i just up and moved to chicago by myself none the less i've even made it out here.
though, i feel like my personal life has been in a complete stand still.
i've been waiting for this moment all my life but it's not quite right, and this 'real' it's impossible if possible. i've been waiting for this silence all night long it's just a matter of time to appear sad with the same 'ol decent lazy eye fixed to rest on you aim free and so untrue everyone's so intimately rearranged lost and loaded still the same 'ol decent lazy eye straight through your gaze that's why i said i relate it's so fun to relate
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| homesick/your arms sick |
[05 Jan 2009|07:05am] |
i am on the road again. i'm on my way to chicago to meet natalie at o'hare so we can fly out to denver together.
i feel like a vagabond and its uncomfortable.
what do you do when you have plans for your future and the one thing that you really want isn't compatible to the rest of the things you want?
for the first time, i just started crying last night. i can't believe that i'm doing this again. i feel like an asshole for being absent in the lives of my friends and family. there's so much that i missed.
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[24 Dec 2008|09:18pm] |
so i got my internship.
i'm moving to colorado.
3 months from now i will hopefully exceed my skills in pastry arts and snowshoe races.
i have no idea where i'm going to buy snowshoes.
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[20 Dec 2008|06:21pm] |
walking on jackson won't be the same without having to put on my chef's jacket... followed by eating lots of sugar.
i can't believe its over.
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[14 Dec 2008|05:34pm] |
i fell in love again
all things go, all things go
drove to chicago
all things know, all things know
we sold our clothes to the state
i don't mind, I don't mind
i made a lot of mistakes
in my mind, in my mind
you came to take us all things go, all things go to recreate us all things grow, all things grow we had our mindset all things know, all things know you had to find it all things go, all things go.
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[03 Dec 2008|12:48pm] |
so as much as i love chicago, i'm thinking about leaving.
i found an internship in a high end ski resort in colorado. they will provide me a place to stay, $100 a week for groceries, and airfare to fly out. its for 3 months.
3 months of beaver creek=
90 days without my meow meows.
90 days of leaving behind everything i once knew (again) and starting fresh.
its so worth it. that on my resume will look so much better than starbucks.
it just means that i would have lived in 3 states in less than a 2 month span=hectic.
i'm going to be working for world of chocolate in the michigan ave's hilton tonight.
i'm already exhausted.
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| if you close the door you'll never have to see the day again |
[30 Nov 2008|11:37am] |
.i'm graduating in two and a half weeks.
.all i want to do is watch science of sleep over and over again and think of how badly i want my own stephan.
.i'm fat.
.i think my standards for men drastically went up since i've moved to chicago. (hence me being single forever)
.i can hear bats right now.
.i kinda want to skimp out on getting my citizenship and just move to denmark.
.i'm making caramels and cranberry grand marnier jam for christmas.
.i spilt a whole glass of wine on my favorite shirt last night.
.i also had a wes anderson marathon last night.
.god i wish crayon seahorses were real.
.if i could i would live in a submarine
.for a graduation present i'm getting a seafoam green kitchenaid mixer
.i'm gonna sell my car so i can get a vespa to match ^^^
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[07 Oct 2008|12:48pm] |
it was one year ago when i fell so hard i didn't want to get up.
i can't believe i'm finally here.
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[15 Sep 2008|01:02pm] |
so a friend of mine got mugged by gunpoint in our stairwell last night.
you know, the stairwell where i have most of my phone calls cause i have no reception at my place.
i was luckily in michigan waiting for jacob to say goodbye to me in the greyhound station. (the place smelt of urine, and trust me it wasn't as romantic as i would've hoped for)
i feel as though i've been dodging alot of bullets lately, and because of that i should do something really amazing.
maybe i'll make a really beautiful cake for that "homeless" man and give it to him while he's sleeping in the streets.
that or maybe i'll just get a chicago driver's license.
chicago driver's license does intale me getting a library card...
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[05 Sep 2008|12:48pm] |
yesterday:
3a.m. get ready and go to bleeding heart
6a.m. make 50 tarts and roll out each by hand.
yea that's a sid tart
12p.m. arrive to fps
make atleast 30lbs of bread to take home in the flooding rain.
8:00p.m.get home and talk to jacob.
longest day ever.
now my wrist hurts like hell.
coming soon...
flugtag.
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